Low self-esteem can really affect your emotional well-being and it can underpin some common mental health problems and lead to poor self-confidence and shyness.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the way that you think about yourself. If your self-esteem is low, the thoughts you have about yourself are likely to be negative and you are likely to focus on what you think are your weaknesses.
As a therapist I see many people with low-self esteem and this can often be at the root of problems such as eating disorders, depression, anxiety and phobias. While shyness and insecurity is often at the heart of low self-esteem, childhood factors such as bullying, abuse or neglect often leave the individual feeling less than good about themselves.
Having low self-esteem can affect a very area of life including work, personal relationships and your ability to socialise. Tackling low self-esteem and boosting positive thinking can really improve your sense of wellbeing and your mental health.
Here are some useful tips to help you boost your self-esteem.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others. You will nearly always home in on their strengths and that will make you feel worse about yourself.
2. Stop putting yourself down. Avoid self-deprecating comments such as, “you silly fool” or “your useless.” Every time you say something like this it erodes your self-esteem.
3. Listen out for compliments, learn to accept them and say “thank you.”
4. Find an affirmation, a statement such as, “I am confident and competent,” write it down and read it every day.
5. Read everything you can about self-esteem, devour books, blogs, websites, attend workshops and really make improving your self-esteem your mission in life.
6. Avoid people who are negative and put you down, instead mix with people who are positive, confident and supportive. Their positive self-esteem will rub off on you.
7. What do you like about yourself, however small. What qualities do you possess, for example, kindness, friendly, reliable, etc. note these down even if less than 100% perfect.
8. Make a list of your past successes, however small, like learning to ride a bicycle or play a musical instrument. Write these down.
9. What do other people value or compliment you on. Note these down too.
10. Try to do more of the things you love, rather than the things you think you ought to do.
11. Finally, be true to yourself. Respect yourself, live your life, not a life dictated to you by others.
Begin to make these positive changes today – Good luck.
Until next time, very best wishes, Steve.
You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype Please contact us through our website @ www.stevecliffordcbt.com
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Steve Clifford Senior Accredited Integrative Psychotherapist. Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.