Suicidal Feelings – How to get help

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Sometimes painful feelings lead people to contemplate suicide. The pain can seem unbearable and life can seems pointless. Feelings of self loathing may make you think that you are useless, and that everyone would be better off without you.

You may be filled with thoughts of anger, guilt or shame. Sometime painful feelings such as loss can leave you feeling empty and that life is not worth living. Maybe you feel you are to blame and that there is no alternative but to end your life.

You may feel that suicide is the only solution, the only way you can take control. Perhaps feelings of anger, guilt or shame overwhelm you. You may start to think that suicide is the only way out.

Even if you don’t know why you feel the way you do, suicidal thoughts simply may just be so overwhelming that you can see no way out.

Please don’t despair. You may think that no one can help you, perhaps you are actively avoiding people and planning how you can take your life. Maybe you feel so deeply hurt or are filled with rage and turning your feelings inside, or perhaps so angry with another that you want to punish them and suicide seems a good option.

Please seek help. You are not alone, many people with suicidal thoughts do not go on to kill themselves. If you are reading this, you have already taken that important first step in getting help.

You may be filled with shame and think you are beyond help, but please reach out. Your doctor will be used to helping people in your situation. They will be able to get you the help you need.

There are a number of treatment options from medication to talking treatments, including counselling and psychotherapy to help you come to terms with your feelings and explore your thoughts. The aim of which is to enable you to make sense of what is going on, to help you to find a solution to your problems.

If you are reading this and are concerned about someone you know:

Make sure you tell them that you want to help them.

Make sure you tell them that you will help them seek help.

Don’t promise that you will be able to help them by yourself or without telling others. This is too big an issue for you to bear on your own.

Whether you may like it or not, the person that threatens suicide is responsible as to what they do with their life.

Tell them that you do not want them to do it.

Ask if they are angry with you or want to hurt you? Tell them that they do not need to act it out this way.

Enabling the other person to talk about their feelings can be a great relief to them, it will help diffuse some of the tension and is likely to give them “permission” to tell you if thoughts turn to intent.

When actual suicide intent is expressed, ask them how they plan to do it and if they can picture themselves doing it.

Remember, at this stage where the person may see no future, suicidal thoughts may appear perfectly logical and they may see no reason to live at all.

Try to get them to hold on, negotiate a window or time frame that they will hold off until.

Remove or hide all dangerous drugs or other implements that they may have expressed a desire to use in the act.

Get help straight away.

With best wishes,Steve

Other sources of help:

Your local hospital A & E Department.

Samaritans – Offer 24 hours support on 08457 90 90 90 or email: jo@samaritans.org.

Papyrus – Offer advice for young people at risk of suicide and can be contacted on 0800 068 41 41.

MIND – Can provide information and help can be contacted via the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393 or via email at info@mind.org.uk or via their website: http://www.mind.org.uk

Saneline – Offer advice and practical information and can be contacted on 0845 767 8000.

turn2me.org – Offer free online counselling.

Maytree Suicide Respite Centre – Registered charity supporting people in suicidal crisis in a non-medical setting. If you, or someone you know, could benefit from a one-off stay in a safe and confidential space, please call – 020 8038 3588 or email maytree@maytree.org.uk.

Main references:

“How to Cope with Suicidal Feelings”(2007) Mind information booklet.
“Overcoming Depression” 1987) Dr Richard Gilllett, Dorling Kindersley

Image: By Baker131313 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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