Cutting Club

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Many people reading this blog about cutting will understand just how others feel who cut. They may have cut themselves in the past, have a friend or family member who cuts, or be contemplating the next cut at this very moment.

Cutting is the act of deliberately inflicting a wound, of self-harming and differs from a suicide attempt per se. It could be said that while cutting serves many purposes it is often a way of coping, a way of dealing with emotional distress. It may be that the person cutting feels deep sadness, acute anxiety or emotional numbness. Sometimes cutting can be a way of relieving stress or trying to feel in control. For some, “X” marks the spot, just like a cross on a map, it can signify the presence of something hidden or buried deeply. For some cutting can be a “ritual of purification.” This type of “blood letting” can release perceived “badness,” and it may be a way of inflicting punishment on oneself.

The term “Cutting Club” might be a good metaphor for what young people look for – a “connectedness” with others who may feel alienated from family, peers or society. Cutting becomes a statement and others may identify with them, perhaps forming a friendship group Alternatively, it might be the entry requirement to joining the group itself.

It is not just cutting itself that bonds members of this club together, other forms of self harm serve  the same currency. Scratching, burning, picking, tearing at skin, pulling out hair, swallowing poisonous or toxic substances, even breaking ones own bones, all share the same characteristics with often the same painful underlying themes.

In my experience as a therapist, cutting is frequently linked to underlying child abuse, in particular sexual abuse. It is more common in girls, but boys cut too. While I have seen boys and girls as young as 12 cutting, in my opinion the vast majority of those who do so, are in the 16 plus age group.

It may also be related to depression and anxiety. Quite often those, who cut may also turn to eating disorders or drugs as a way to cope. Sometimes it can be linked to conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, perhaps as a result of trauma, individuals feel ” dissociated” or ” numb” and this can be a way of feeling. For some people who have difficulty in regulating their emotions, cutting can be a way to cope when they do not have the personal resources to do so. It is not unusual for people to think about suicide when they are cutting, but it is not often meant as a suicidal act. The biggest danger is that the person cuts through an artery accidentally, seriously endangering their life.

I have seen cutting in all parts of the body including breasts and genitals, however, the most common injury sites are wrists, arms, thighs and sometimes stomach. I would not regard tattoos and body piercing as self- harm, unless of course, it is done deliberately to cause harm.

In most cases cutting is done secretly, often in the privacy of the home and mostly it is done where it can be covered up, perhaps by pulling down sleeves and hidden beneath layers of clothing.
Frequently, people who self- harm tell me that no one knows about this behaviour.

It can be very difficult for parents to deal with because they are so emotionally involved. Often they may blame themselves, sometimes they become angry, often because they feel both helpless and worried.

In my clinic I go to great lengths to try to understand what it is that underpins this behaviour. I know that it often signifies s deep emotional distress. It is a way of coping and I make sure to tell the person cutting that they are not bad and that this is not bad behaviour but merely a way of coping.

I explain that I am not judging them and neither am I going to take away this means of coping. Instead, I suggest that either working together to resolve the underlying conflict and/or providing them with a wider range of coping skills is really the best way to help.

It is very difficult to stop cutting because it can become a habit and ultimately an addiction. The very act of cutting releases “feel good” hormones known as endorphins, or to use the full medical name endogenous morphine.
Identifying the triggers is a key task and then teaching coping strategies other than cutting. Sometimes the addition of medication such as an antidepressant can help greatly. Having an opportunity to talk about the deep problems to a professional within a safe and confidential setting can really help. Sometimes having access to clean dressings and medical help may be needed, particularly if wounds are more than superficial.

If you are concerned about yourself or someone you know,make an appointment to see your doctor. Alternatively you  may find that there is a young persons counselling service near you, and if you are at school or college there may be someone you can talk to in confidence. Please feel free to email me in confidence via my website and I will try to find help in your area.

Until next time, Steve

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype Please contact us through our website @ www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook sites:

www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

www.facebook.com/bexhillmindfulnesscentre

Steve Clifford Senior Accredited Integrative Psychotherapist.                                           Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.                                                               Registered Mental Nurse.                                                                                                     Registered Nurse for Learning Disabilities.

 

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Should I see a therapist?

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Well, that really depends on why you want to see a therapist. If you are going to see them with the hope that they will solve your problems, then perhaps not. If, however, you are going to them with the hope that they will help you to solve your problems, then that’s another matter. You see, the job of a therapist is not to “fix,” but instead to help you to mobilise your resources. A good therapist does not solve your problems, but helps you to develop the capacity to solve your own problems.

People often look to have therapy when they have a major life crisis, such as a death, the end of a relationship or the loss of a job. Sometimes people feel empty or inadequate inside, or they may feel that life is not going right and they may feel unfulfilled.

It can take courage to go and see a therapist, after all, firstly the person has to admit they have needs and then they have to face them. Fear of facing painful feelings can prevent people seeking help and many turn to work, alcohol or other coping strategies to push thoughts and feelings out of their consciousness. Therapy does require a commitment from you, but it is worthwhile and talking about difficult emotions in a safe space can be very liberating. Expressing your thoughts and feelings in such a way as to clarify your own situation, come to terms with painful emotions and see your difficulties with greater objectivity can really be helpful.

It is the therapist job to provide you with a space where you can talk without fear of judgement. In other words, a confidential place where you can feel held, secure and safe. For many, the therapy room is a refuge, a sanctuary. I like to think of it as your room, your space within my world. A place where you can return to at any time in your life should you need.

A good therapist will make you feel at ease, they may even feel more like a friend than a professional therapist, someone with whom you may feel you can tell anything. Whilst friendship and friendliness may be an important ingredient, along with warmth, genuineness and congruence they can never be a friend as such. You are seeking their help as a professional not as a chum, buddy, lover or any other relationship.  It is precisely because of the uniqueness of this relationship where warmth and friendship in the therapy space combined with professional integrity come together in the service of your difficulties. Next time you are telling a friend something notice how they will often come back and try to tell you a worse story, or perhaps they will tell you what to do or simply rubbish what you say. A good therapist won’t do this. Of course, there may be a value in the therapist sharing or disclosing something of themselves, they will only do so really if it is deemed to be helpful and supports the therapeutic endeavour. You can be sure of one thing though, unlike a friend or acquaintance, a good therapist won’t dump their garbage on your shoulders!

The term psychotherapist is one that I really like. Not because it is a lovely grandiose title… but because of the original Greek meaning of the word. Here the word therapist literally means “attendant” and the word psyche literally means “spirit” or “soul.” So a psychotherapist is literally a “Soul Attendant.”

One of the problems when deciding that you want to take up therapy is to find the right type of therapy for you. The problem is that there are just so many different types of therapy to choose from. Therapies vary from analytical laying on the couch type therapy, to body therapy, cognitive behavioural, transpersonal to neurolinguistic programming. The list is seemingly endless. I suggest you go to a good bookshop and look for books on therapy in the psychology section, alternatively contact a few therapists and ask them to tell you more about their particular approach.

Probably the best way to find a therapist is through personal recommendation. This may be from your doctor or a friend. The key thing is that the therapists approach has to feel right for you.

These days a lot is spoken about a type of therapy know as cognitive behavioural therapy or CBT, which is my own speciality. This is an action-oriented as well as word-oriented therapy. It helps people understand what is happening and what they can do to change the way they feel and react. CBT looks at the way thoughts (cognitions) and beliefs affect our emotions and the meaning we give to events. This affects our emotions and our reactions (behaviours). Unlike some other approaches, CBT is a relatively short term psychotherapeutic approach. The length of therapy tends to depend on the complexity of the presenting problem. A block of sessions ( usually six) may often be enough for a noticeable difference to emerge. Improvement to “quality of life” is often the best measure of success. The goal of CBT could be said, to enable the client to learn ways to address problems and difficulties in order to become their own therapist.

If somebody asked me what do you do? I would reply that I do many things, but one of the most important things is”tilting the mirror.” In other words. Reflecting back in such a way as enable the client to glimpse a slightly different perspective. Helping the client gain insight and understanding. This may be helping the client to see how unhelpful thinking traits, such as catastrophizing mind reading, black and white thinking distort their view of reality. We may look at the meaning they give to events creates a huge emotional upheaval and how stepping back and distancing can help. Then together we look at the problem area and the way it impacts on the person’s life. We consider how life would be different if the problem was resolved. We look at what may need to happen or change, then we look at the emotions arising out of the event or situation and talk about them. Together we identify what needs to happen to bring about resolution of the problem area. Then we identify strategies and goals (or aspirations) to aim for. Working within a specific time frame, using measures and behavioural experiments to help us. Through the course of therapy the client and therapist walk “shoulder to shoulder,” addressing the difficulties In a collaborative way.

Some people say, “I felt worse after my first session,” for others, getting it out in the open can be a great relief. Problems rarely resolve themselves without action, and if they do so, it may not be in the way we desire. Having the opportunity to explore them with another person may help a great deal.

Don’t expect miracles, but don’t dismiss the possibility that resolution of difficulties can feel like a miracle. Therapists are not “miracle workers” and if they present themselves that way, don’t go anywhere near them! The therapist is there to guide you to achieve your goals, not to do the work for you or “make” you feel better. Every session you attend is one step closer to feeling better.

Until next time, Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

visit us @ www.stevecliffordcbt.com
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Thought-Flipping

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All day long our minds are filled with constant chitter chatter. Most of it benign, some of it worry-some, and some of it down right troublesome.

Research suggests we have somewhere in the region of 65,000 thoughts every day and that on average our mental dialogue is in the region of 50 to 300 words per minute.

Much of this is self-talk, inwardly directed and a good deal of it is unhelpful. Because of the way it makes us feel, it is capable of raising our stress levels and bringing down our mood. In CBT circles we talk of NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts) or ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

Such thoughts are:

AUTOMATIC              They just seem to come into your mind without any concious effort.

DISTORTED               They are not always supported by the things you know to be true.

UNHELPFUL             They are nearly always negative and make it difficult to change.

PLAUSIBLE               You accept them as facts without questioning them.

INVOLUNTARY         You do not choose to have them and they appear difficult to stop.

One of the problems is that we tend to be so identified with our thoughts that we often cannot see them for what they are…just thoughts. Instead, somehow we see them as us, and we feel we have no power over them. Often we give them power, believing them and that we are somehow at the mercy of them. Racing thoughts, obsessive ruminations and irrational fears take over.

How then can we learn to step back and take control? Well, let me introduce you to “thought flipping.”

I would like you to imagine that you are now going to install a “negative thought alarm.” As soon as a negative thought crosses your mind a silent alarm sounds. You then step in with absolute authority, grab hold of the thought and flip it on its head, by thinking the exact opposite.

Yes, expect a little battle at first, when your rational programmed mind tells you that such a practice is ridiculous and could not possibly be true. But like the Master you are, you use your authority and power to respond back in a direct and commanding way. The mind is reminded that it’s former thought was, at the very least, as lousy and ridiculous as the new flipped one. As you are the Master you will choose what is true.

Here is an example of thought flipping where we rewrite the negative mental script.
You find your mood dipping and you notice you are feeling angry with yourself. Your thoughts are as follows: “I am useless and have no sticking power, I missed an entire week at the gym.” By flipping the thought we create a different perspective and this can halt the negative mood slide. “I have been kind and listened
to my body and taken a break from the gym, so I am going to have a really good workout today, because I am truly committed to my goal of feeling good and honouring my mind and body.”

What you need to do is change the wording, in other words rewrite them. Which one do you want to be true? You choose?

It can be really helpful at first to get into the habit of writing down any serial negative thoughts that continue to pop into your mind. Do this when you notice the drain on your emotions and you start to feel down, depressed or anxious:

Write down your thoughts on paper and take a good look at it.

Do you know this thought is a fact, is it true?

Is this a helpful thought, does it serve you?

Write down a counter thought that opposes the negative thought

Change the wording of the thought to something more positive

Now each time the negative thought wants to dominate your thinking, assertively replace it with the new positive alternative.

So here we have it, thought flipping, tackling negative thoughts by re-creating positive alternatives with deliberate intent. Planting positive thoughts this way ensures that we take back control and create the reality we want.

Until next time, very best wishes, Steve.

 

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                   Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook sites:

www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

www.facebook.com/bexhillmindfulnesscentre

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                       Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                 Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

 

Adapted from: “Thought-Flipping: A guide for Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff,” by Leigh Donovan, 30/06/12, Spirit-full, a personal transformational blog.

Ref: “Negative Automatic Thoughts,”  Central Manchester and Manchester Children’s University Hospitals NHS TRust, Clinical Psychology, 2002

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Eleven tips to boost self-esteem.

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Low self-esteem can really affect your emotional well-being and it can underpin some common mental health problems and lead to poor self-confidence and shyness.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the way that you think about yourself. If your self-esteem is low, the thoughts you have about yourself are likely to be negative and you are likely to focus on what you think are your weaknesses.

As a therapist I see many people with low-self esteem and this can often be at the root of problems such as eating disorders, depression, anxiety and phobias. While shyness and insecurity is often at the heart of low self-esteem, childhood factors such as bullying, abuse or neglect often leave the individual feeling less than good about themselves.

Having low self-esteem can affect a very area of life including work, personal relationships and your ability to socialise. Tackling low self-esteem and boosting positive thinking can really improve your sense of wellbeing and your mental health.

Here are some useful tips to help you boost your self-esteem.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. You will nearly always home in on their strengths and that will make you feel worse about yourself.

2. Stop putting yourself down. Avoid self-deprecating comments such as, “you silly fool” or “your useless.” Every time you say something like this it erodes your self-esteem.

3. Listen out for compliments, learn to accept them and say “thank you.”

4. Find an affirmation, a statement such as, “I am confident and competent,” write it down and read it every day.

5. Read everything you can about self-esteem, devour books, blogs, websites, attend workshops and really make improving your self-esteem your mission in life.

6. Avoid people who are negative and put you down, instead mix with people who are positive, confident and supportive. Their positive self-esteem will rub off on you.

7. What do you like about yourself, however small. What qualities do you possess, for example, kindness, friendly, reliable, etc. note these down even if less than 100% perfect.

8. Make a list of your past successes, however small, like learning to ride a bicycle or play a musical instrument. Write these down.

9. What do other people value or compliment you on. Note these down too.

10. Try to do more of the things you love, rather than the things you think you ought to do.

11. Finally, be true to yourself. Respect yourself, live your life, not a life dictated to you by others.

Begin to make these positive changes today – Good luck.

Until next time, very best wishes, Steve.

 

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                   Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook site @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                       Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                 Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

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Five tips for a more content life.

The restless demands of life, career, family and home often turn day to day living into a treadmill. By just making a few small changes to our outlook, this treadmill can be slowed down. You never know, you might just choose to hop off for a while and savour the moment.

Here they are:

1. Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking.
Don’t blow things out of proportion. Dwell on an unimportant event and it quickly turns to a great big deal so fast that you don’t realise it’s happening.

2. Let go of the idea that relaxed people can’t be super achievers.
There is a myth that unless you are mean, jumping on people, criticising everything, you won’t get on. When you are relaxed, you have a calmer wisdom, access to common sense and see solutions more easily.

3.Choose being kind over being right.
People are obsessed with being right and proving it. Therefore, everyone else has to be wrong. If you want to be peaceful and happier, you have to allow other people to be right some of the time.

4.Every day, tell at least one person something you like or appreciate about them.
You have to make it a habit. Turn your attention to what’s right in life not what’s wrong. Don’t expect a compliment back.

5.Live this day as if it were your last.
….. and treat others as if it’s their last day too. By relating to people with openness and savouring the moment, we bring a freshness to the relationship. People really feel seen and recognised and met in a way they might otherwise not experience. Stopping to smell the scent of flowers, looking at the clouds and generally taking time to take in the world around you, leads to a greater contentment and sense of peace and well-being.

Begin today and start to really make the few small changes you need.

Good luck.

Until next time, very best wishes, Steve.

 

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                   Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook site @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                       Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                 Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

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Could there be an evolutionary explanation for depression?

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Could there be an evolutionary explanation for mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression?

I have for a long time pondered over the hypothesis mooted by some that there may be an evolutionary explanation for both anxiety and depression. This explanation may also embrace seasonal affective disorder, and bipolar disorder.

Let’s start with anxiety. On the face of it, anxiety is fairly easy to categorise as an evolutionary response.

Imagine a tribe who live in mud huts next to a fast flowing river inhabited by crocodiles and surrounded by a dense jungle full of ferocious animals. This tribe have no fear whatsoever, and the children, just like their parents, take every opportunity to play in the fast flowing river and climb the trees in the jungle.

All, that is, but two people, a man and a woman who were born with this condition called anxiety. One by one the children and their parents get eaten either by the crocodiles or the ferocious animals inhabiting the forest. The couple with anxiety however, do not venture near the river or risk going into the jungle. Lo and behold they are saved because of their anxiety. In time they have children and so this condition us passed on and on through the generations.

Anxiety could be said to be one of the main motivating forces in much of human behaviour and provides a tremendous impetus to learning and adjusting throughout life. The earliest human remains that resemble us, is a female skeleton (Australopithecus) or should I say, several hundred bones known as AL- 288-1. She has been named Lucy” and she dates back some 3.2 million years and she is a hominid.

Lucy would not have fared very well when facing a huge wild beast; her nails could hardly be described as claws. Her hair, a little under her arms, between her legs and on her head could hardly be described as fur. Porcupines or their prehistoric equivalent had spikes that came up when they were scared. Lucy, on the other hand, had goose pimples and a few short hairs that stood up on end, hardly a match. She was not very strong and could not really outrun her enemies. So how then did she fare so well?

Well, she had two special gifts: a brain that could think and reason in a way that her enemies could not, and hands that had fingers and movement far more sophisticated than them. She soon learnt how to fashion weapons with her hands. This fantastic evolutionary condition called anxiety enabled her to identify threat.

If we were really being picky we might say that anxiety does not mean precisely the same as fear. Fear arises from threat, by some situation outside a person, that can be assessed and acted upon. Fear prompts us to either attack or run away. The sophisticated autonomic nervous system, ( the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system) in conjunction with the endocrine glands prepare the body for “fight or flight.”

There are several other states associated with fear and these include “freeze,” like a rabbit does when in a car headlight, and another we shall call “flop,”  – in this latter state, blood pressure, which is sky high when in the fight or flight state, literally drops in an instant causing us to faint. An example where this might come into play is where you are running away from your attacker and you are caught by a huge blow and a gaping wound prevents your escape. Unable to fight or flee, a message is sent to the brain in an instant and a rapid drop in blood pressure causes you to faint. Lying motionless, hopefully your pursuer just might think, ” ugh, dead meat, that’s it, I am not interested any more.” Another related state is known as “fawn,” – in this state, showing extreme affection and getting friendly with your attacker, you might be able to favourably influence your fate.

Coming back to anxiety, let us say that it is a feeling of unease or concern in relation to a perceived threat. This was the gift Lucy had. Her fairly small brain was programmed to look out for threat. That is why today we are fixated with the new bulletins and we gravitate towards news stories which have an element of shock and horror. Yes, Lucy could have been programmed to remember the kiss and cuddle she had with Freddie Flintstone, but no, she was programmed to look out for threat and danger. Today, we can be forgiven for being drawn towards gossip, after all it important for you to know if any dangerous predators are moving into our neighbourhood!

One could almost say that we are “over-engineered” to look out for danger; in other words, just like a car alarm that goes off with the slightest vibration from a lorry passing by, or a burglar alarm going off when a spider walks over it, we too are sensitive to all forms of imagined threat or danger. Hence we get “panic attacks” at the drop of a hat and our body kicks into “fight and flight.”

Depression too, could be viewed as a natural response to overwhelming odds or abnormal situations of stress. Imagine if you will, our prehistoric ancestors living in a   cave by a river, close to the plains populated by wild animals. The weather is particularly bad for a prolonged period, dark skies and rain cause the rivers to flood. As a consequence of the poor conditions the normally dry plains flood and the wild animals now are on the prowl for food.

Looking out for threat and danger, the dark oppressive skies signal to us that something is wrong and that we need to withdraw. Perhaps the modern day incidents of seasonal affective disorder hark back to this time? Chemical changes alert us that something is wrong. Could bipolar disorder signal to us to get hyperactive and gather what supplies we can before depression kicks in?

With danger imminent our body chemicals signal both brain and body to withdraw. With lowering of energy levels we do not feel like doing anything much, loss of libido means that we are no longer making babies, so no more extra mouths to feed! No need to go far to hunt as our appetite is diminished and our hastily gathered supplies will last us through this period of danger. With little energy to do anything, not even washing or dressing, we huddle up together under a pile of animal skins and hibernate, sleeping though until the spring and the nice weather arrives again. As it does, so the skies lighten, floods recede and the animals move back to the plains once again. Safety has returned and our mood is restored back to its former state.

Fanciful perhaps, but there may be a grain of truth in there somewhere, who knows?

Until next time, best wishes Steve.

 

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                       Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook site @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                             Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                   Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Image ref: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AEmmanuel_Benner_-_Prehistoric_Man_Hunting_Bears.jpg

 

 

Managing really upsetting thoughts and feelings

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As a CBT practitioner I would be the first to point out that avoidance of upsetting thoughts and feelings only serves to perpetuate and strengthen the power they have over you. There are times however, when the sometimes overwhelming nature of these thoughts and feelings can simply be too much. Having intrusive and upsetting thoughts while your taking your child to school, or when faces around you become distorted, due to a painful flashbacks, is not to be recommended. I hope to give you a few tips to help you manage, so that you can go about your life with relative ease, until such time as you can address the causes of these upsetting thoughts and feelings safely in therapy.

The first technique I would like to share is adapted from the “Drop Anchor” exercise by Russ Harris (Harris, 2009).

This exercise will help you centre yourself and connect with the world around you.

1. Place your feet firmly on the ground.                                                                                   2. Now push them down firmly.                                                                                                 3. Become consciously aware of the floor beneath you, feel it supporting you.                       4.Notice the muscle tension in your legs as you push your feet down.                                 5. Become aware of your whole body, as if your whole body now is engaged in pushing.     6. NOw look around you, notice what you can see and hear.                                                  7. Notice where you are and what you are doing.                                                                     8. Breathe!

Grounding techniques

These are very helpful techniques to learn, particularly if you are prone to upsetting intrusive thoughts, memories and images. THey are also good to employ if you are feeling detached and unreal.  Rather like mindfulness, focusing all of your attention on sounds in the environment e.g. birds in the trees, waves on the beach or even the sound of your breathing can be very helpful.

There are many different grounding techniques and I have listed some of my favourite “sensory” grounding techniques below:

Visual: Select an object or perhaps a photo, picture or landscape to focus on.  Study it intently; describe what you see out loud or in your head.  You may choose to focus on something around you, like the wallpaper or even a spot on the carpet or ceiling. Really focus on the detail, shape, colour and pattern.  Counting the grain in wood or fabric will really heighten your “in the moment” awareness.  Use flashcards, with a message to yourself such as, “these dark days will pass” or “I can tolerate this.”

Touch: Carrying round a stone or crystal that you can get out of your pocket when you need to ground yourself is an easy way to bring yourself back to the present. Find yourself a special object to use at such times.Look at the colour, the shape, how solid it is, the temperature of the object and its texture, and whether it is rough or smooth.  You can even use foodstuff like a sultana, banana or mushroom.

Look to your environment, for example by feeling the grass under your feet or the bark of a tree. Take a shower and become aware of the stimulation of the water on your skin, or perhaps slap your hand on the surface of bathwater.  Pinging an elastic band on your wrist, rubbing a comb over your arm or an ice cube over your face can be helpful.  The latter are particularly helpful as an alternative to acts of self-harm.

Sound:  Use your voice, making different sounds and shapes with your mouth.  Select a piece of music, preferably something up-beat, and listen to the sound, in particular, paying attention to the beat, rhythm, the different instruments and vocal harmonies and become aware of any feelings evoked.  Listen to the sounds of birds, the ticking of a clock, or simply listen to the sounds around you, noticing how loud or soft they are.  Notice those in the foreground, mid-ground and distance – now categorise these into groups.

Scent: Scented candles, oil burners and incense are all good for grounding.  I burn incense before I see my first clients each day to help me to focus and put me in the “zone”, ready to attend to the issues they bring me.  It can be helpful to carry round a small bottle of perfume, or putting a dab on your wrist to smell.  A particular favourite of mine is the scent of patchouli, however, my Granny used to carry round a bottle of smelling salts to ward off the “vapours.”  I can only think that this latter, rather pungent scent would be good for managing panic attacks!

Taste: Take a glass of water (with or without ice cubes) and drink it very slowly, savouring the taste, imagining it cleansing and washing away your tension or distress.  A selection of herbal teas with different flavours can stimulate the taste buds.  Be aware, however, that herbal teas have certain therapeutic properties and so should be taken with this in mind.  If you want to find out about the beneficial effects of herbal teas consult your local health food store.

I hope you find these helpful.

Until next time, Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com

Ask us your mental health questions anytime @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

 

Image ref: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AGl%C3%BChwendel_brennt_durch.jpg

Sources:

Russ Harris – “Simple Ways to Get Present” – 2009. www.actmadesimple.com 

Steve Clifford – “50 Tips to Beat Depression” – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tips-Beat-Depression-Steve-Clifford-ebook/dp/B00ILV965A