Five tips for a more content life.

The restless demands of life, career, family and home often turn day to day living into a treadmill. By just making a few small changes to our outlook, this treadmill can be slowed down. You never know, you might just choose to hop off for a while and savour the moment.

Here they are:

1. Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking.
Don’t blow things out of proportion. Dwell on an unimportant event and it quickly turns to a great big deal so fast that you don’t realise it’s happening.

2. Let go of the idea that relaxed people can’t be super achievers.
There is a myth that unless you are mean, jumping on people, criticising everything, you won’t get on. When you are relaxed, you have a calmer wisdom, access to common sense and see solutions more easily.

3.Choose being kind over being right.
People are obsessed with being right and proving it. Therefore, everyone else has to be wrong. If you want to be peaceful and happier, you have to allow other people to be right some of the time.

4.Every day, tell at least one person something you like or appreciate about them.
You have to make it a habit. Turn your attention to what’s right in life not what’s wrong. Don’t expect a compliment back.

5.Live this day as if it were your last.
….. and treat others as if it’s their last day too. By relating to people with openness and savouring the moment, we bring a freshness to the relationship. People really feel seen and recognised and met in a way they might otherwise not experience. Stopping to smell the scent of flowers, looking at the clouds and generally taking time to take in the world around you, leads to a greater contentment and sense of peace and well-being.

Begin today and start to really make the few small changes you need.

Good luck.

Until next time, very best wishes, Steve.

 

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                   Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook site @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                       Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                 Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

Image ref: “Ja roweromaniak 093-12”. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ja_roweromaniak_093-12.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Ja_roweromaniak_093-12.jpg

Advertisements

Eight ways to overcome fatigue and re-energise yourself.

File:Chronic fatigue syndrome.JPG

Are you tired and exhausted trying to do more and more in less and less time? Are you in an energy crisis, too busy to do anything about it or too tired to even realise it? If you are, then chances are, you are one of the many over-worked, over-stressed, over-extended and potentially overwhelmed folk out there trying your best to meet unrealistic demands.

Do I hear you say, “there are not enough hours in the day” or “can’t they see how much I am doing?” Well, chances are they don’t care! Sounds harsh, but the reality is, they are too busy to care. You know the mantra, “If you want something done ask a busy person.”

Accept that the only person who can change things is you.

When you feel tired, accept the fact that you are tired. You really have two choices, keep going and ignore your needs and like a battery you will pretty soon run out of juice. Before that happens you will experience fatigue, exhaustion and open yourself up for headaches, colds and all manner of stress related ills. Worse still your prolonged exhaustion may lead to depression, insomnia, chronic fatigue, burnout and pave the way for more serious health problems.

What can you do about it?

Here are eight changes you can make today that together will add up to a big difference to your energy levels and outlook.

1. Look at your diet, chances are that if you are overworked, exhausted and stressed you are either comfort eating and snacking, or worse still, neglecting to eat. Remember, food is your body’s fuel, the energy source to sustain your output. Eat small meals regularly, if you eat too much in one go your body will complain and your energy levels will simply crash. Eat good, “clean food”,  for example, snack on complex carbohydrates such as a wholemeal bread sandwich with peanut butter, a good source of protein to fuel you over an extended period of time. Add fruit when you need a sweet pick me up. Find time for yoghurt or cottage cheese a good source of calcium and vitamin D.

2. Ditch the fizzy drinks and the cups of caffeine and take on board more water. Dehydration is a real problem when you are stressed. You need to keep your cells and your brain hydrated. One of the first signs of dehydration is fatigue. When you are dehydrated your blood volume is decreased, your heart has to work harder to pump your blood round your body, the cells in your brain constrict leading to headache and heaviness in your limbs. Furthermore, your ability to think clearly, move , stand, exercise, sleep, work, cook and even make love will diminish. So take time drink water, try keeping a glass of water on your desk and a bottle of water when you are out an about. Have a jug of water with your meals, you can add a slice to two of lemon or orange. In the summer mint and lemon balm make a refreshing herbal alternative.

3. Get fit! If you want to increase your energy levels engage in regular activity at least three times a week. Studies suggest that 30 minutes of activity at a pace where you have a light sweat will add 25 per cent more energy to every waking moment. Regular exercise has so many benefits and helps maintain muscle strength, mobility, increased metabolism, agility and boosts energy. No need to hit the gym or pound the pavements, just leave the car at home and walk to the shops and engage in regular outdoor activity such as cycling and gardening. Not only does exercise boost the system banishing fatigue but it also improves the mood, increasing serotonin and endorphin production. Furthermore, raised body temperature has a wonderful tranquillising effect, reducing depression and anxiety.

4. Get a good nights sleep. Don’t sacrifice sleep by staying up and watching television because you are too tired to move, or because you’re  finishing that report, ironing into the night or catching up with the washing. Sleep is vital if you want to beat fatigue. Look upon sleep as nature’s way of recharging your batteries with restorative energy. Sleep allows your body to repair damage, recover from stress, rejuvenate and restore balance. A good nights sleep sets you up for a good, productive day.

5. Step out into the great outdoors. Take time to surround yourself with natural energy. Sunshine and vitamin D, fresh air rather than fumes from car exhausts coupled with the sights and smells of nature can really pick you up. A nice walk enjoying the beauty of nature can be so invigorating. Switch off the computer and switch the paperwork for tree’s and fields, you will be surprised how the simple act of turning your back on work can lift the spirits and restore your energy levels. The fragrant scent of flowers, the earthy smell of the forest floor  or the salty breeze of the sea can revive and refresh as the olfactory nerve is stimulated. If you can’t get outdoors bring in some plants to detox the environment, pin up some pictures of country scenes and surround your workspace with a few natural objects such as a piece of driftwood, some stones or a crystal. Pick these objects up periodically to have a mindful moment. Nature is restorative, bring nature to you and harness it’s healing powers.

6. Be mindful. Take time to stop what you are doing and focus on your breath. As you do, check out how you are feeling in your body, scrunch your eyes up and let them go. Raise and lower your shoulders. Stand up if are sitting down, sit down if you are standing up. Have a stretch and smile. By purposefully stopping and focusing on the breath you are coming into the here and now. Running your hands under cold water and splashing your face can be so refreshing. Just letting go of stress momentarily will prevent you spinning round in circles. Stress is not good for us, it shrinks the brain, leads to weight gain due to the high levels of the hormone cortisol that the body produces when under stress, thins your hair and can fetch the reproductive system. Having a stretch and paying attention to your posture will help to eliminate bodily stress and prevent aches and pains. Take time to stop for lunch and find time for regular “pit stops,” this will ensure you keep your reserves of energy for when you need it.

7. Surround yourself with positive people. Isolation can be depressing and stressful, it may also contribute to exhaustion. A loving partner will stimulate your heart, a good role model will inspire you, a good friend will always be there for a hug and a loyal pet gives much and demands little. Avoid “vampires,” those people who literally drain your energy, instead, seek out “radiators,” those people who brim with energy, enthusiasm and life. Seek out sparkly eyed people and not those with dull listless complexions. Good energy is contagious, make sure you get your share.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Better to be relaxed and good humoured rather than stiff and grumpy. Happiness doesn’t just happen, we have to make it happen. The more tired we are, the less likely we are to smile or have a laugh. By ensuring we have some things to look forward to, by engaging in activities, seeking out people, places and situations that bring a smile to our faces we can literally energise our soul. Too much work, feeling tired and worn down is a recipe for misery.

The key is to listen to your body. Don’t ignore tiredness. Our body is a sophisticated machine, where brain chemicals, hormones and blood supply  are all intimately involved in ensuring that we “feel” our fatigue, acknowledge it and then do something about it. Isn’t it time you worked with your body rather than against it?

 Until next time, best wishes Steve.

You may wish to know that Steve is now offering therapy sessions via Skype                       Please contact us through our website @  www.stevecliffordcbt.com

Visit our facebook site @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Steve Clifford                                                                                                                             Senior Accredited Integrative  Psychotherapist.                                                                   Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.

 

Adapted from an article “Solve your energy crisis” which appeared in You magazine (March 2001) from a book by dietitian Debra Waterhouse, titled ” Tired to Inspired,” published by Thorsons.

Image ref: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AChronic_fatigue_syndrome.JPG                                                                                                                             

Create a Garden Sanctuary – Beat #Depression

50Tips

Tip 2 – Extract from “50 Tips to Beat Depression” available on Amazon

When you are depressed and the whole world can seem too much, sometimes just getting out in the garden and away from it all can help.  Whether it is clearing a weedy corner or sitting in a tranquil place, inner calm can come from immersing oneself in nature.  Sitting quietly in the garden can enable you to slow down and escape the rush and hurry, which may have contributed to your present condition.  Studies have shown that gazing at greenery produces a rise in alpha wave activity, which indicates increased mental relaxation. Taking time to reflect is all part of the healing process.  Tidying and pruning an overgrown garden can symbolically help us to create a sense of order, as we thin out and rid ourselves of the unwanted “overgrowth” in our lives, in the same way that watering and tending new seedlings can help us develop the nurturing aspects of ourselves.  Even the smallest of spaces can be transformed into a healing oasis by just adding a few pots and some greenery.

With best wishes, Steve

Please feel free to email your blog posts for “Your Mental Health Matters” to stevecliffordcbt@gmail.com                                                                                         Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com                                                                                      Like us @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters                                                Tweet us @ cbt4you

Informal mindfulness Practice

014

While many of you reading this will be happy practicing mindful meditation in a formal setting, others may want to expand their daily practice. Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine at home really is the start point to embracing mindfulness as a way of life.

Start by picking an activity that do on a regular basis such as brushing your teeth or having a shower or bath. These activities are good because they encourage you to focus on your senses. Engaging in either activity with full awareness will help you to learn how to temporarily step aside from the constant chitter-chatter of the thinking mind.

Totally focusing your attention on what you are doing, with an attitude of curiosity and non-judgemental openness will help you to develop a more intimate relationship with yourself. Try to tune in to the senses: notice the movement of your body, the taste, the touch, the smell, the sight, the sound, and so on.

For example, being mindful when taking a shower, notice the sound the water makes as it leaves the nozzle, perhaps the sound of the spray. Notice the way the sound is different as it hits the hard surface of the bath or shower tray. Notice the way it sounds as it touches the skin. Now feel the water itself, the temperature, the force of the water against your body, the way it feels in your hair, on your shoulders. Now notice how it feels with the water running over your body, does it feel different on your shoulders compared to your chest, or down your back.

Now shift your senses to the smell of the shampoo or soap you are using, experience the lather and the way it feels as you rub it into your hair or your body. With the soap on your body, try to notice the subtle plane of contact between the soap and your skin. Imagine that contact as it is happening, really feel it. Notice how it feels as you rub harder or softer.

Now shift your attention to the water again, this time becoming aware of the way the water droplets cascade down the hard surfaces of the walls, shower curtain or screen. Notice the way the droplets form and drip. Notice the way steam and condensation create a vapour, an atmosphere around you.

Notice the movements of your arms and the way you wash your body. Connect to your experience. Does the act of showering have a sensuous quality? Are you rushing or are you savouring and really enjoying the experience? Or is showering merely a chore you want to get out of the way? How do appreciate the water itself? Can you see the way nature provided rain and how this gas been transformed into the water you are now using? Can you appreciate this great gift, the luxury of a shower when many in the world are devoid of precious water? Can you give thank for the water, or indeed being able to shower yourself without assistance?

What of your thoughts? You will find that many thoughts arise and particularly if you are just learning to be mindful, staying focused is hard. When you catch yourself getting caught up in your thoughts , simply acknowledge them and gently let go of them, bringing your attention back to what you’re doing. As you will soon realise, again and again your thoughts will wander, this is completely normal. Simply, acknowledge, shift focus and attend mindfully once again to what you are doing.

So here we are, a practical exercise to help introduce mindfulness practise in everyday life. Reminding yourself to take notice of your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations as you go about your daily tasks is a first step to bringing mindfulness into the centre stage of your life.

Until next time,

Steve

Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

Weekly Group

Wednesdays      6 -7pm

Free Admission 

Venue:

The Bexhill Mindfulness Centre

Meeting at: Parkhurst Hall, Parkhurst Road, Bexhill, TN39 3JA

This weekly gathering is an opportunity to engage in simple mindfulness meditations with others. There is no commitment to attending each week. As well as meditations there will also be a talk or discussion on aspects of mindfulness in daily living or the philosophy of mindfulness. The groups are suitable for all ages irrespective of background and no experience of mindfulness meditation is necessary. Meditation takes place on chairs, you do not need to wear special clothing or bring anything with you.

Love to see you if you can make it

 

Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com                                                                                      Like our page @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters                                              Also @ www.facebook.com/bexhillmindfulnesscentre

 

Get yourself a few rays of Sunshine – Beat #Depression

 50Tips

Tip 29 – Extract from “50 Tips to Beat Depression” available on Amazon

It is not just Morecombe and Wise who extol the benefits of sunshine.  Boosting the supply of vitamin D in the body serves to maintain optimum levels of serotonin to assist the activity of cells throughout the body, regulating mood, sleep and our ability to process information.  In the summer months go out for a few minutes every day, soak up the sun and ensure supplies of vitamin D are topped up.  Meet friends for a picnic, take a stroll before nightfall and watch the sunset.  In the winter, consider hiring or purchasing a light box, (see tip 40), as serotonin levels change with the seasons and are at their lowest in the winter months.

Until next time.

With best wishes, Steve.

Please feel free to email your blog posts for “Your Mental Health Matters” to stevecliffordcbt@gmail.com

Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com                                                                                      Ask us your mental health questions anytime @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters                                                                  Tweet us @ cbt4you

 

Mindfulness – Beat #Depression

50Tips

Tip 23  – Extract from “50 Tips to Beat Depression” available on Amazon

There are many types of meditation and ways to meditate.  Mindfulness meditation is a particular type of meditation which originated in the East and has been shown to be particularly helpful for those with depression and anxiety (Williams et al, 2007).  It is especially helpful in enabling the individual to develop the ability to detach from negative or troublesome thoughts.  Essentially, mindfulness teaches us to focus on our experiences moment by moment, without judging or getting caught up in inner dialogue.  With practice we learn to become fully aware of what is happening in the moment, acknowledging  sensations, emotions, impulses, thoughts and images, yet simply accepting them without trying to explain, rationalise or reason.  Thoughts are just thoughts, and mindfulness teaches us to observe them just as we might observe a cloud passing in the sky.  Here is a useful breathing mindfulness meditation to begin with.

One: Make yourself comfortable, sitting with your hands resting in your lap.

Two: Focus on your breathing and notice the gentle in and out of your breath.

Three: Focus your attention on the movement and sensation of the breathing process. Do not try to alter it, merely follow it.

Four: As you find your mind wandering (and it certainly will) simply bring it back to the breathing process and focus again on what is happening.

Five: Continue this for a few minutes; with practice, lengthen the time as you become more proficient.  Some people find it helpful to meditate at the same time each day.  You may find it useful to do so at a time when you are particularly troubled by negative or troublesome thoughts.  Do not worry about your wandering mind, the key is catching yourself doing it and bringing your awareness back to your breathing.  Remember, even the most experienced meditators have wandering minds and may have to bring their attention back many, many times.

Until next time.

With best wishes, Steve.

Please feel free to email your blog posts for “Your Mental Health Matters” to stevecliffordcbt@gmail.com

Steve Clifford, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com                                                                                      Ask us your mental health questions anytime @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters                                                                  Tweet us @ cbt4you

 

 

Massage and Emotional Wellbeing

pulsing picture

When we are physically well and our body is in good shape the impact of the stress upon us will be far less than it would if we were unfit.  With a well-tuned body we are better able to handle the demands of life, express ourselves and project our personality and needs.  Indeed, it could be said that the body is a barometer, measuring the degree to which we are functioning effectively.  When we are unfit this not only makes it more difficult to cope with the many pressures upon us, but it also adds to the levels of stress we experience.

When we hold onto external stress, whether physical or psychological, it is manifested as “tension” in the body.  Its impact upon us may be imperceptible.  We may not even be aware that we are holding on to stress at all.  Sometimes, the first sign that indicates an accumulation of internalised stress is a noticeable increase in clumsiness and poor           co-ordination.  At a more subtle level, rigidity is present and the free flow of movement is inhibited.  Energy levels, too, may be noticeably impeded, as we may feel lethargic (slowed) or agitated (hyper-arousal).

If we are unable to release the build up of internalised tension this can result in headaches, tightness (often neck and shoulders), aches and pains (commonly stomach or lower back), the immune system can become deficient and we are more susceptible to colds and illness.  Likewise, even symptoms such as dry hair, skin rashes and poor sleep patterns frequently result from internalised stress and tension.

Stress is such a common feature of everyday life as to be regarded as “normal” and while this is true to some extent, stress levels are definitely up and the demands on us now are far greater than ever before in human history.  Most of us can adapt to moderate levels of stress, particularly short-term, but so often though, the result is ill-health.  Anything from colds and flu, to Angina, heart attack, conditions like depression, even cancer, has been linked to stress.

Underpinning the symptoms of stress can be unresolved trauma, or sudden shock, and similarly there may have been a build up or accumulation of stress over a long period.  Stress can arise as the result of internalised emotion such as anger, guilt or worry.  Whatever the cause, the important thing to do is to listen to the body and identify causative factors and then work to release the excess stress which gives rise to muscular tension.  The body can then begin to return to a more harmonious and balanced state.

Touch is something which is often absent from many peoples lives and it can be very healing. We actively need to be touched for our emotional health. This need is more than   simply a desire. It is a physiological necessity that, if unsatisfied can have profound            psychological effects. Research has shown that even a 30 minute neck and back massage can reduce depression. It can lower levels of stress related hormones and make people more alert, less restless and able to enjoy deeper, more  restful sleep.

The mode of body therapy that I practise is known as pulsing. In my opinion it is particularly well suited to promoting emotional well-being.  It is a very effective and gentle mode of bodywork with its emphasis on listening to the body and working directly with the natural rhythms and movement; assisting the free flow of energy and working to restore the natural resting state which occurs when the body is at ease.  Pulsing utilises gentle, rhythmic rocking movements to facilitate the release of stress, either on the physical, psychological or emotional level.  Amid continual rhythmic rocking the client is transported to a place of blissful peace and tranquillity, reminiscent, perhaps, of the womb or being rocked in a parent’s arms.  The ebb and flow of the breath is mirrored in purposeful movements, sometimes subtle and barely perceptible, other times lively and bold.  With no strain whatsoever, the body is moved gently through natural pathways, promoting mobility and encouraging relaxation and openness.  The wave-like movements bring about very deep relaxation as muscular tension is eased.

Clients learn how to recognise physical tension and how to let it go.  Often in so doing, emotional pain will be released and equilibrium will be restored along with a deepened sense of vitality and peace.  At the hands of an experienced practitioner, the gentle rhythmic movement can leave you feeling like you are dancing on a cushion or air.  As you learn to let go of bodily stress you will be better prepared to move forward and face life’s challenges.

For more information or to book a taster session please contact us.

Until next time.

With best wishes, Steve.

Please feel free to email your blog posts for “Your Mental Health Matters” to stevecliffordcbt@gmail.com

Steve Clifford, Psychotherapist and body worker.

Visit us @  www.steveclifford.com

Ask us your mental health questions anytime @ www.facebook.com/yourmentalhealthmatters

Tweet us @ cbt4you

References:

Alexander J. (2001) Mind, Body ,Spirit, Carlton Books, London.

Kirsta A. (1987) The book of stress survival,  Gaia Books Ltd, London.